


Pain & Hunger

by KnightoftheCrow



Category: Bleach
Genre: Graphic Description, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Renji, genetically accurate!renji, self harmer!renji
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 20:13:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16688176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnightoftheCrow/pseuds/KnightoftheCrow
Summary: Feelings. They are a powerful thing. Sometimes you feel them, sometimes you don't. Sometimes they govern your actions and sometimes... not so much. You can't always help what you feel and sometimes... you can't help what they make you do. All you can do is just try to understand them. Even when it seems impossible.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so, originally I was going to wait awhile before I started posting this, but in celebration of internet returning to my house, I've been updating my fics today. I just wanted to preface this with... I tagged this, but I still want to let you know that this fic is going to be very triggering. As a self harmer, I wanted to explore self harm and, I guess, also just find a way to process it within myself. I headcanon Renji as being a self harmer, so that's what this fic explores. I also want to note that there are many ways to self harm and self harm is just self inflicted injury with intent to harm (ie smoking when you're stressed, cutting, starving yourself, etc). I'm not encouraging people to self harm, but... I understand if you do. And I know it's hard to get out of. And I know not everyone wants to get out of it. Just know I'm here for you and you can DM me on any of my socials if you need to talk. Again, if you're a self harmer or recovering, this fic is going to be quite triggering and will most likely get even more so as it goes on.

He slid his fingers over the marks on his wrist, his thumb smearing small swashes of red across his skin. His mind returns to the moments before, the cold glint of metal still fresh in his thoughts and on his skin. He flexes his fingers, acutely aware of the openings in his broken skin, more so than the emptiness inside his chest.


	2. Chapter 2

Tugging the long sleeves down over his arms, he winced as the fabric rubbed against the raw skin of his wrists. Looking down at himself, he felt almost stupid to be wearing a sweater. It wasn't even that cold outside, just slightly chilly. At least, that's what the weather forecast said, but he knew better. He never knew why, but he was always more perceptible to changes in the weather than everyone else. At least he was prepared with a sweater.

He reached his hands up to his head, pulling the hair band out of his hair before sticking it between his teeth as he ran his fingers through crimson locks. He gathered his hair back atop his head again before replacing the hair banf to hold it all in place.

The sleeves of the sweater rolled themselves back up with his efforts and as he stared down at his wrists, he wondered if anyone would notice anything amongst all his scars.

**Author's Note:**

> btw, for those of you reading any of my fics, in case you haven't noticed, I don't write chapters for these things, so each chapter posted is actually just a scene break.


End file.
